Are you familiar with the movie Project X?
It’s about an unpopular high school kid who decides to throw the greatest party of all time when his parents leave him alone for the weekend. It starts small but, sure enough, by the end of the night the neighbourhood is filled with about 15,000 people drinking, smoking, taking drugs, destroying the house, doing daredevil stunts, making out, having sex, broing out, girls flashing their boobs and swimming in the pool naked, two DJ’s rocking the beats, celebrities showing up, cops too but they are unable to break up the party as an angry drug dealer brings a fucking flamethrower to the scene and the whole neighbourhood riots.
Why am I telling you this?
Last weekend a friend of mine was invited to a real-life equivalent of such a houseparty; lots of people, hot girls, two DJ’s, endless supply of alcohol and other opiates, dedicated rooms for sex, and lasting the whole damn weekend.
For debaucherous young spirits in their 20s chasing life’s constant high and new adventures, this seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Still, my friend ultimately declined the invitation to stay home and work on getting his shit together.
He was on the fence about going, but decided it’s more beneficial for him to skip the party. When talking to me about his decision, he explained how he used a certain phrase to convince himself of making the hard choice:
I really wanted to go, but finally said “mind of steel time” and got focused.
PUT UP OR SHUT UP
Lately, more and more people have been talking to me about enforcing the “mind of steel” mindset in certain situations to toughen themselves up and do what they need to do. It makes me glad that I’ve managed to help so many people over the years and become a role model for friends and strangers, especially considering how I started this website just to share my thoughts and help people assert themselves differently.
While I’m glad that people use “mind of steel” as a term that pushes them towards positive change in difficult situations, it’s still just a bandaid solution to the underlying problems. Simply acting tough in certain situations is not enough. Making the right choice now and then is not enough. Needing to force yourself toward change at a moment of potential weakness is not enough.
And when I say this, I speak from experience. Every once in awhile, I allow myself to lose my focus. My eyes swerve from the prize and only seek immediate rewards. I lose track of my vision and goals, so when it’s time to make a hard choice, it’s almost impossible to make a “mind of steel”one. Yes, at times I manage to do it, but even then it’s a close call.
I am not a motivator, because motivation is bullshit. Motivation is temporary. Motivation is a drug; you get an instant high and a surge of energy which soon leaves you. And once it does, you’re stuck feeling even worse and trying to “get motivated” again. You watch every motivational video on YouTube, bump all the songs, read all the quotes, just to get that sudden rush of productivity, despite knowing it’s going to expire soon and, when it does, you’ll be back at square one, scrapping for one more hit just like any other junkie.
People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents.
– Andrew Carnegie
Having a Mind Of Steel isn’t about making the hard choice at a time of need. It is about living with the hard choice without regret or second guesses.
Party X sounds fucking amazing and I’d most definitely want to attend it. But if it clashes with my other plans, what then? Some will yell out YOLO and call me a bitch for not living life to its fullest. A decade later, I’ll probably be yelling YOLO back at them while living a life they will never be able to. The question is – am I capable of putting aside immediate pleasures and seeing the bigger picture right now? Are you?
DEVELOPING A MIND OF STEEL
Mind Of Steel is not a phrase. It’s not a battle cry you yell out when clashing with procrastination or telling your Xbox buddies to fuck off. It can be and, if it gets the job done, by all means use it.
But what I consider a Mind Of Steel is a mindset. It’s a general way of looking at the world and dealing with every single choice in your life. It’s about forming a literal mind of steel, an impenetrable dedicated stream of consciousness that has embedded a certain vision deep into its core.
So when life throws hard choices your way, they are not choices at all. You have a vision, you have goals, and you are ready to sacrifice all the other useless shit in order to obtain it. Mind Of Steel means having a killer instinct, a state of mind where you’re walking around like a shark out for blood, almost like you’re looking for obstacles to overcome. No matter what happens, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how frustrating or depressing the situation, you will keep pushing because you still haven’t reached your goal. Even if the clouds open and an endless amount of shit starts pouring on your for 40 days and 40 nights, you will keep wiping your face and walking through the mud, without even giving it a second thought.
Once you achieve this level of dedication and form a mindset that may as well have been forged in the fires of Mount Doom, it will be one of the greatest feelings you will ever experience.
But, like with anything, if you don’t sustain a certain level of quality, you’ll regress much faster and easier than you think. And once that happens, you’ll feel like absolute shit and will have to climb back up the mountain of insecurity and weakness to forge your mindset in steel once again.
This had happened to me. Multiple times. And losing your killer instinct is one of the worst feelings a motivated person can experience.
However, I’ve found the exact moment in a day where you can make or break a successful mindset. It’s of the utmost importance for you to seize this moment and make the most of it, because if you don’t, it will be much harder to obtain that killer instinct at any other given point during the day.
The moment you open your eyes is the most important moment of any day.
Most people wake up feeling sluggish, walk around like zombies and “need” to consume caffeine before they can become functional human beings. They then proceed to work for eight hours, come home, unwind in front of the TV, go to sleep late, and start the whole cycle once again.
I’ve been that guy. More recently than you might think. I’m no stranger to mornings where I’d be cursing as soon as I got out of the bed because the weather is shitty, I’m sleepy as fuck and just want to stay under the blanket and catch up on some zzz’s.
Other times, I’ve opened my eyes like a predator in wait who has just noticed his prey. Before getting to work, before getting a cup of coffee, before even getting out of the bed, I do the most important thing I will do all day:
GRAB THE WORLD BY THE BALLS.
I obtain a mindset that is indifferent to the weather, coffee consumption or any other shit I might encounter that day. Before my feet touch the ground I feel so invincible that absolutely not a goddamn individual, group or deity can stop me from achieving anything less than greatness that day. There is absolutely nothing I cannot do, and I let the world know it by squeezing it by the balls and showing it that I own it in every possible way.
I have no idea of knowing what awaits me today. It may be the worst day of my life, but it definitely won’t feel like it. At the start the morning, I make the world my bitch, so when my toes feel the floorboards beneath my feet, I am already travelling to my vision 10,000 miles per hour. There is no physical change, only a change in my mindset.
And that is what it means to have a mind of steel.